A True Brony
by SwordOfWieldThe3rd
Summary: A young boy by the name of Michael is sent to the world of MLP where he meets up with the mane 6 and is given the powers of an Alicorn. But with trial, error, and all around chaos will he be able to learn to protect all of Equestria with some help from his friends and the princess herself? Find out in 'A True Brony! First fan-fic so I'm open to criticism! Rated T for blood/Cursing!
1. Prologue

**"Hello everypony! And welcome to my first fan-fic! So to start this off let's talk a bit to get to know each other, My name is Bob, what's your?" *Bob politely waits for answer* "Oh wait! I forgot I'm not stupid! Well seriously let's talk a bit, to the ponies"**

**"So my Friends meet Derpy my co-host!" "Hi" said derpy.**

**"To be more exact her name is derpy Hooves!" "I think thats my name! So don't wear it out! Hey, how do you wear a name?"**

**"Don't question my co-host! and let's get on with the fan-fic!" "Can I have a muffin first?" Said derpy**

**"Fine!" *Muffin magically appears! Magically!***

_*Disclaimer: I do not own any of this accept the idea and my OC's!_

* * *

Michael/Sword Deflect's POV

UGH! Another day wasted. Another useless day spent in school. And another day where I had to watch teachers that looked half-brain dead.

Dear Celestia I hated life! Okay, it wasn't to bad. At least at night I was free to do what I wanted.

Oh and yes I did say dear Celestia! And yes it is from My Little Pony but hey Haters gonna hate!

I guess nows also a good time to say where the heck I'm at, well to answer that question you first need to know who I am. My name is Michael, I'm 16 years old, I go to some crappy high school in Oregon, and I'm what they call a social outcast or dead meat or my _favorite term!_ The Retarded slacking idiot with no life! Oh and no I have no mental illness!

Anyway I live in North America and my last name is Smith. I'm A bit on the weak side but I have muscle and am a black belt in Karate. I have dirty blonde hair with minor freckles on my nose, and just for the fun of it I wear a pair of black shade lined glasses

Thats Probably why I'm a social outcast, or at least part of it. I live on North Whal Fountain Boulevard. I like to call it Never Whale Spout-ins. It was a terrible name but I'm an extremely nerdy guy so what can I say?

* * *

As I rounded the corner to my street I noticed the street bullies god I hated them so I ran to get into the house. I could probably beat them up but in the way I'd do it would be karate, and trying to kick someone while jumping around looks really stupid. So I try to avoid doing it.

Yes! Im almost there but I hear him call me "Hey dead meat! Get over here so I can ventilate my frustration!" I'm surprised he can use such big words

"No thanks!" I call back "Go get him!" I hear Robert yell out.

Well I guess I should explain them all now. Robert was a tall lean guy with a record of damaging peoples property. He had red spiky hair and was always wearing orange. He had freckles along his whole face and a small scar on his cheek from falling down on a skateboard and blaming it on me. His eyes were a dark brown.

But there were two people I didn't notice with him, his henchmen. Jefferson and as I like to call him, Tanked. Jefferson was a real short and pudgy guy with opposite build of Robert but the same hair and eyes. But his skin was extremely pale, which was once again contradictory to Robert. Tanked was a big, big guy with slick black hair and sickly green eyes. He had a lot off muscle, hence the name Tanked.

As I was getting charged by the two I knew my garage wouldn't open in time so instead I tripped one of them and ran the way they came. It almost worked but Robert caught me off guard and stopped me. I wasn't able to juke fast enough so I rammed him only to get a punch to the face straight on the nose. I felt my nose and I could tell it was bleeding. That meant karate was my only choice. I kicked Robert in the gut and he grabbed his stomach, it was enough for me to get around but Tanked was ready.

I prepared myself for what was coming only to find... Nothing. I looked around to see I was in a completely white room. I saw a door and walked to it only to see that is was locked. I tried to call for help but no one came so I just sat there. Waiting for something. But them I noticed something strange. A bunch of chairs pulled up and it looked a lot like a waiting room. Then I thought of something

I started thinking of a way out an. Opened my eyes to see another door appear! So that means I'm dreaming right? So did they knock me out cold or what happened?

As I was thinking this a screen appeared out of nowhere and showed me what happened, I saw my self on the ground, and then they all ran away. But nothing happened after that. Does that mean I'm still asleep in my yard?

This time I thought up a way to wake up... And nothing happened. So I decided to explore, I went through the door and you know what I saw? Another room. I kept on thinking a way to get out of here but after another 5 mins I stopped. We'll might as well enjoy my time here, so what to think up? Oh I know! How about My little Pony characters! I though up the Mane 6 but only princess Luna appeared. Weird. I tried to un-think her (however you do that?) but instead she talked "welcome to the dream plain"

Wait, was my mind working on its own? "Um... Okay" I responded "I hope that you will forgive my sudden intrusion but you see I come with matter of up-most importance" She said "Like what?" I asked intrigued by what my mind was bringing up "All I can tell you is do not falter from what you believe in" She said.

Then all of a sudden she was gone and I was simply laying there in dreamless sleep

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night in my bed. Good, that means they didn't send me to the hospital.

You know sometimes I just wish that I could go someplace else where I could actually take some initiative in my life!

Oh well, as if that's ever going to happen.

Thus I decided to go to sleep again. Only to wake up in another dimension.

* * *

**"so how was it? Oh and the dimension he wakes up in isn't Equestria just yet! But do not fear! We will get there!" Said the handsome author**

**"Also if you want to see me and the author do stupid stuff with other ponies in the beginning messages and after messages just comment that you do!" Said Derpy **

**"I told you all Derpy could help!"**

***Twilight sparkle jumps up in audience and yells* "I'M SORRY OKAY!"**

**"Good enough, okay every pony bye and see you next time!"**


	2. S1 EP1: The Trial

**"Welcome back every pony! Now today we will be having Derpy enter a muffin eating contest with Discord!" Said The handsome author!**

**"The only catch is that Discord can't use his magic and that derpy has to eat double the amount Discord does! So are you ready guys?" Said the handsome author "MUFFINS!" Said co-host Derpy "Okay good for you Derpy! Discord?" "This will be a piece of cake, or a piece of muffin! Ha ha ha!" Said Discord "That was a terrible joke Discord. okay on your mark... Get set... Gooooooo!" "Done!" Said Derpy. **

**"Nice timing Derpy!" Said the handsome author "But' how?" Asked Discord "How what Discord?" Said the handsome author "How can she eat it so fast?" Discord asked me "That answer is simple, it's because she just can. End of story!"**

**"Okay then onto today's story info: We don't introduce the ponies yet! Yeah!**

***Tirek comes out of no where* "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

**"Security get him of stage!"**

**"Ha ha ha! You think ponies can defeat me?" Said The Clueless Tirek. "Actually, Master chief Get him!"**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOO! But for a different reason this time!" Yelled the now annoying Tirek**

_**Disclaimer: I don not own anything in this except for my OC's who So far are just Michael**_

* * *

_Michael/Sword Reflects POV_

UGH! My head hurt like crap and my whole body was sore, come to think of it I felt a bit weird, hmm, nothing wrong here my body's just a ghost Alicorn, oh and I have no clothes on, that might be the problem... Wait whys my body an Alicorn?

_"welcome to my realm" _Said a very mysterious disembodied space voice, it was kinda creepy. "Who are you?" I asked.

"I am no one important" It said "Where am I then?" I decided to ask "You are simply here that is all that matters" It answered. Okay this is really starting to get creepy, I mean isn't this a bit sudden? And now he wont even answer me straight, I mean, what the heck!

"You are here to discover your true self" It said in spite of my confusion. So I answered with the obvious answer "JUST FREAKIN GET ME OUTTA HERE!" I 'said' saying the 'obvious' answer "Patience young one" It answered

I guess now I should explain 'It's' voice. It was a mans voice so I should call IT a HIM. It was deep like the guy who sings 'Monster Mash'. The place I was in was a white space with a cliff in front of me, and behind me. The sky was white too and, then I remembered about my body. " Why is my body a ghost ALICORN!" I couldnt help but yell at 'him' "You will learn in due time, but for now let me tell you about why your here"

"this is the trial dimension. A place where beings from all over come to prove themselves" He said. Hmm this was starting to get all out crazy "why am I here, what do I have to prove?" I asked, and I was starting to get desperate, I mean who just gets transported across dimensions or across the galaxy or whatever! And is then a pony and is told that he has to prove himself, okay did I lose to much blood and died! Did my family personally kill me?! I mean I wouldn't be surprised they HATE ME! My dads insane, my moms a smoker and I'm an only child who's sent to guidance to learn to cope with his parents. Or am I dreaming again? That would be the obvious answer, but this was just, too real to be fake. I could feel wind, and the ground. There was no way this was a dream

"The trial is simple, just wander around and once a certain task has been accomplished you will see the landscape change, then you will complete another task that will be designated, then the landscape will change and you will be given another task, if you finish those three you will pass your trial, if you fail one you will be sent back home and completely mind wiped" Well that meant that if I fail I lose every memory I have, because when he says completely mind wiped I'm think means COMPLETELY!

"BEGIN!" And the trial started

* * *

As the scene around me changed it looked like I was in Ponyville. A-W-E-S-O-M-E! I started to walk around the place. Then I saw Twilight Sparkle walk out from the library. She didn't have her wings yet so I wasn't in season 4 yet. I decided to walk over but instead I fell over. Crap. Still getting used to 4 legs. She saw this and came over "..." Was all she said which, technically wasn't anything so instead I tried to talk but found that I couldn't. Was this part of the test? Instead I just shook my head up and down to show my thanks. She walked away.

I looked around a bit more and saw some bits on the ground. I picked them up but when I leaned down I couldn't figure out how to pick them up because of the hooves so instead I picked them up with my mouth. It was kinda weird but hey it worked.

I saw the market up ahead so I went to buy something. There were cabbage, tomato, cucumber, and all kinds of vegetables. I bought some cucumber and ate a bit of it without even getting the skin off or cutting it into pieces. It tasted pretty good so I guess that's where the pony instinct kicks in With food. I didn't know what the challenge was so I just walked around

As I was walking around I saw a lot of stuff that wasn't in the show. Like first of, there was a big house right in the middle of the market. The only thing I think it did was sit there and be, we'll, a nuisance.

There was also a house that looked strikingly, human. It really interested me because it was two stories made of the same materials humans use. It had locks on its windows and doors and I'm pretty sure it had a defense system Because there was some kind of electric system on the side. Cool, I didn't know ponies had electricity things like this.

But the one main difference was that no pony could talk. It was creepy, almost as if this was my test. To see how long I could handle no noise. To test my inner soul or something some psychiatrist would do to test humans like guinea pigs.

But suddenly that was all broken when loud dub step music started playing and everything went red. In all honesty it was terrifying. I tried to run but I couldn't. I saw some other pony came up and started screaming and pointing. Every pony was just running around like crazy and no pony would stop running I tried running again but could only take it in steps.

The pony that was jumping up and down and pointing like crazy was starting to point to me. I guessed it meant that she wanted my help so I started to walk where she was pointing and was able to walk again.

She followed me and pointed down a cliff. I saw some pony down there but I didn't know what to do. I then remembered that I had wings. It was a long shot but it just might work!

I got a running start and... JUMPED!

It was awesome! The wind in my face, the thrill of it, the look on my face must've been priceless!

Then I remembered where I was and started to flap my wings. It slowed my descent but to get there faster while in control I tried to stick my wings out to glide down. Man this was really hard! But none the less it worked. As I was coming up to the ground I flapped my wings like crazy to slow my descent as much as I could!

I made it but just barely. I looked around to see what that pony wanted and I saw a Pegasi being attacked by what looked to be a chimera. this one had a sheep head, a lion head and a dragon head. It had a HUGE snake tail, and a big pair of bar wings! The only thing natural looking about it was the fur.

Well I decided that I might as well help I ran up and, unlucky for me, tripped into the chimera. The thing screeched and I ran under it and headed its stomach. At this gesture it flew up and tried to bite me with its snake tail. I tried to grab the tail but without hands I couldn't and ended up getting bit. And man it hurt like crap. I punched the tail and it retracted from my shoulder where it bit me. I looked at the spot and saw 4 fang marks that were slowly bleeding.

Now that did it! I punched it or, hoofed it on its tail again. Because of this I was able to knock it out but would a Chimera really be that easy to beat? The answer is, No.

Its goat head came down to ram me but I sidestepped it and its head bashed the ground. I tried to buck it like applejack does with her trees but I hurt the crap out of my foot. The goat head reeled back but I was left barely being able to stand. I did notice though that there was a crack in its horn, so that's what I hit. But I used this to my advantage. I tried to fly up but was having trouble so I just jumped onto its head. I repeatedly bashed its horn and it finally gave way so I grabbed it.

I used its horn as a weapon by jamming it into it skull and progressively knocking it out or, killing it? Or at least part of it?

Now I had the Lion and dragon heads to deal with and they were the problem. The dragon head had a long neck so if I tried to take down the lion from the back the dragon would reach over and try to kill me. But if I tried to take on the dragon head from back the scales would be to hard to do damage. So I had to take on them from the front where I didn't have leverage. If I tried to punch or kick the dragon head from the front the lion might turn over and eat my hand or foot. same thing if I tried to hit the lion. So I came up with a plan.

I jumped of the Chimera. And used the force of the jump to fly to a tree. I grabbed a pinecone and aimed. Once the Chimera saw I was waiting it realized it needed to hit long range so it opened up its mouth to blow fire and I chucked the pinecone down it throat. It started gagging until I grabbed about 3 more and through them down its throat again. Now this did it and in about minute it was gagging up what looked to be smoke and... Lava? Interesting. Anyway, I could tell it had burnt it's throat and it's mouth was scorched so I could only assume that it was dead. And lastly the lions head this one was easy and I still had the horn so I jumped on to the dragon head up onto the lion head and stabbed it. The Chimera fell to the ground and I walked over to the Pegasus I saved. But she wasn't there and the scenery was changing again. This time I was trapped in a box.

* * *

Well I was been trying to get out for 10 minutes but I couldn't find any way out. The horn was gone so that was out. The glass was to hard to break through. The corners were rounded so they wouldn't be weak enough to break through. It was all sanded to perfection so that I couldn't find any glass to use. If I tried to dive through the glass I could break my wings. if I continuously rammed the glass to get out I would use up to much energy and I probably wouldn't even get out. The only option could kill me. Unless I rammed with my horn which could break it there was only one way out. And if I did break my horn since it's magic it could result in brain damage or death or it could start leaking magic and that could also kill me. The only other option was magic.

If I used magic theres no telling what could happen. But using my wits I could probably figure it out. I would also need a bit of courage to be willing to do it without accidentally turning myself into a squirrel or something like that.

So if I had to guess the way to teleport would probably be to imagine yourself there and focus on that spot. Well here goes!

I focused on a spot outside the box and just thought about it. I waited a bit and opened my eyes to see I was outside the box. Thank you smarts! The room I was now in had a door with a passcode. So onto the next part of this place.

First I needed to figure out who owned the place. If I did that using my extensive My Little Pony knowledge I could type in pass codes that would suit them.

I looked for some indication at to who owned it but all I could find was a computer on a table. Well only one thing to do... To the computer!

I turned it on and saw a picture of the mane 6. That meant it could be one of them or the princesses. I looked around a bit on it and found a couple files of pictures. They all either had Princess Celestia, Princess Luna or the mane 6 on them. If I had to guess I would say that it was Princess Celestia's computer.

Thus I would have to say that the passcode would probably be Luna. Considering how close Luna is to her. I typed it in and the door opened. Nice one Michael!

The next room was a series of trivia questions.

Question 1: Who are the princesses

. Answer 1-Princess Celestian, Nightmare moon, Princess mia more cadenza

. Answer 2-No one

. Answer 3-Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle, . Princess Cadence

Duh! Answer 3! I flipped the switch and the wall opened up into another passage.

As the room changed again I was left in an obstacle course. We'll better get started

* * *

The first thing I noticed about the course was that it had a huge layout. From what I could see it was at least 500 feet long and had at least 45-46-47-48-49! It has 49 obstacles! Man this would be hard!

As I walked into the maze I saw two paths, one said C And the other said W. I decided to take the path that said C.

This path was really narrow and looked a bit... Creepier. But from what I had seen it was the shorter path and would take less time.

As I walked along the path the first thing I could tell about it was how disturbing everything was. Nothing seemed normal. The only thing I could think of to take my mind of it was funny stuff. Because like Pinkie Pie said or sang in the 2nd episode of the series, just laugh! The only problem was, I couldn't find anything to laugh about.

Not even Pinkie could get me to laugh right now. It was just to... Creepy.

The first obstacle I came up to was a HUGE cliff. If I tried to climb on the wall the rocks would break and I would fall in. If I tried to climb on top of the wall it could crumble and fall with how bad it looks. I mean who makes a course out of vines and cliff rocks then just crushes it all together! That's what the walls looked like. Complete Crap

So my only choice without a big chance of dying was to fly over. But I wasn't sure how to fly very well with out diving being involved. And the cliff was too far for me to dive. Which meant I actually had to fly. Well okay then.

I stretched out my wings and tried to flap them fast I got of the ground for a good 15 seconds before falling. Okay so I guess I needed to learn the technique to it. I practiced for another good 5 minutes until I could stay in the air long enough to get across. Moving was the hard part. But I had to try.

I stood far back, got my wings ready and... Ran! I jumped and started flapping like a maniac. I was slowing my descent but I wasn't moving fast enough! At the last second I flipped over and got my hind legs over the cliff. I pulled up and although exhausted I continued going.

The next challenge was a leap of faith. I tested it by putting my hand through the crack only to get my wings and horn torn asunder. I pulled my hand out and my wings and horn were back. So that means that the leap was meant as part of the challenge. I got ready because I wasn't about to let anything get in my way!

And I jumped! I could automatically tell my wings and horn were gone and I felt as though I was doing a Sonic Rainboom without wings! It was even worse thanks to my fear of heights. I eventually saw a pool and I went into a dive to keep the pain at a minimum. I braced for impact and...

Felt nothing. Just like when I passed out I felt nothing! I opened my eye and saw I was standing on the ceiling... WAIT IM STANDING ON THE CEILING! Oh I get it! It's reversed gravity so you won't get hurt! It really is a leap that you need to have faith! I saw a door over there when I was coming down so might as well go check it out. And there it is! A door. I went through it and came to a room with an exit door so I went towards it only to see 2 Chimeras come down!

Oh god, 2 of them now! I had trouble with the first one! Come to think of it what happened to the place where I got bit? I looked over to see it was swollen and that I still had 4 bite marks there but the blood wasn't running anymore.

I then Looked over to the Chimera's. I was going to give them a piece of my mind!

The first one charged me and I jumped it and kicked the goats horn! I learned my strategy from the first one! I cracked the horn and ripped it off. I then stabbed it in the head and the goat was done for or at least one. I jumped behind the first one and charged the second one it's lion head tried to snap at me so I ducked under it I jumped up on the second one and bashed the goats head and stole the horn. I stabbed it 2 times and it died. Then I stabbed the lion head on the second one and the dragon head came up and opened its mouth. I threw one of the horns in its mouth. I jumped off and watched as he coughed up the smoke and lava. I saw the other Chimera try to get me from behind so I threw the other horn at its mouth. I hit the lion head dead on and I jumped up to get the horn. I saw the dragon head open it's mouth so I had to act fast so I grabbed the horn and tried to use my unicorn horn to teleport. I opened my eyes to see I almost got hit but the teleportation worked. Thank you Alicorn powers! I transported onto it and I saw its head reel back. I took the chance and threw the horn in its throat. I then jumped of it and walked toward the exit door.

* * *

I had finally made it past the first part of the maze. This time coming up I saw a path that said QUIT and W. Obviously I took the path that said W.

As I started down the path I came across the first obstacle-A brick wall. I looked around it and realized that not all was as it seems. I saw a writing in the wall that proved not all was as it seemed in the form of a riddle. It read 'Dear Traveler be aware, not everything can be seen by a simple stare, use this magic and you will see, why most people from this place chose to flee'. Under it was a scroll that read 'The eye of newt, and newt of eye, beware wonderer from what you will find' I read out loud.

My eyes started to hurt so I closed them and opened them again to find that there was now a big crack in the wall with a bunch of skeletons in it. I checked a skeleton to find it was plastic. Ha. It was a joke to scare people away.

I walked down the cave to see a bunch of torchlights. Using the spell I could see that one of them was less bright so I flicked that one. the wall opened up and I grinned in triumph! Man this was to easy! No one or pony can out wit me! The final room! (I could tell it was the final because there was nothing through the window but a bridge)

I then saw a computer on the table. I opened it up and I saw a quiz. It was a type the answer so if I misspelled a word I might fail. here was the quiz

Question 1: Name yourself

Question 2: Where are you from

Question 3: Who are the mane 6 characters in My Little Pony friendship is Magic

Question 4: Name 4 towns or places in My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic

Question 5: Who are the Wonderbolts

Question 6: Who Is Shining Armor

Question 7: Name at least 20 My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic characters

It was mostly easy, I got the joke when it said Mane 6 instead of Main 6. the last question was a bit hard because I was a bit rusty. I entered my results and the last door opened. Well that was easier than I thought. That's when I heard it

"_Very good young one. You have completed your trials. Simply step through this door to go back to where you where born_ "Said the voice again. And with that notion I stepped through the door and passed out

* * *

**"Hello every pony! Big cliff hanger there again! In the next chapter we meet the ponies!" Said the handsome author**

**"Now to end this of we get to have... A PIE WAR" Said Pinkie Pie**

**"Ready...Set...Go!" Said the handsome author!**

**"As we see Pinkie start off she is killing every pony! No one stands in her way! Oh but Twilight is coming back! With rarity straight behind! Applejack is bucking pies into the middle of the stadium and Fluttershy is well, cowering at the back of the stadium in fear. Oh Rainbow dash comes in and is pelting every pony! And Fluttershy is down for the count! As Pinkie Pie charges back in Twilight is not giving up! She levitates at least 20 pies at her! And surprisingly, Pinkie Pie is out! As applejack bucks a pie at Raritys face we see Rarity going down for the count! As Rainbow dash continues to throw pies she fails to notice Twilight chuck a pie at her! That leaves Twilight and Applejack left! As the go left and right, right and left no pony can land a hit! But wait! Applejack hit Twilight! And she's down for the count! Applejack is oit winner! See ya next time folks!"**


	3. S1 EP2: Meet the Gang

**Hello every pony and welcome back! Today we will be having an episode of know your Mare at the end and we get to meet the Mane 6 today. **

**Anyway I'm also going to start doing real pony news. So this chapters news is... Season 5 has been approved and confirmed! I haven't looked too deeply yet but I'm interested to see how it goes with that castle!**

**Anyway, since I want to get going with the introductions let's get this book on the road!**

**"How do you get a book in the road" asked Derpy**

**"Shut up Derpy! I didn't the quotation marks around any of that which means I'm not talking so you shouldn't respond to me!" The Even handsomer than usual author said.**

**"Okay!" Replied Derpy**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this except my own OC's**_

* * *

_Sword Reflects POV_

UGH! My head hurt, Again! Why does my back hurt to? Feels like I've been sleeping on boards. I opened my eyes only to find I was in a completely unfamiliar house, and I was still a pony! And I really was laying on wood. I looked around and stood up to try to find out where I was. And if any pony came near me I was going to freak!

As I looked around I noticed There were stairs that lead downstairs, which meant I was on the second or third or whatever floor of some ponies house. I looked around a bit more but I heard some hooves clopping from the what sounded like upstairs. I looked at the window and saw it was still night, so that meant that I just woke up some pony from there sleep

As I looked who it was I saw, Twilight Sparkle! I screamed inside and fainted out of shock

* * *

_Twilight Sparkles POV_

What the hay? Some random pony just fainted in my house I don't know how he got there, who he is, why he's here, and to top it off it was the middle of the night! I mean what pony does that! Well I should still help him. Know him or not he's a guest

So I picked him up with my magic and noticed something new about him... He was an Alicorn. As in an Alicorn like Princess Celestia! But that would mean he's a prince or king, wait a second... I didn't know Colts could become Alicorns? Okay this was a mystery I was going to solve! Or else my name isn't Twilight Sparkle! "SPIKE!" I called

"What" he called back groggily "just get down here!" I called back "fine" he said as he gave up

* * *

_Sword Reflects POV_

UGH! Yet again my head hurt. I'm surprised I didn't already have headache re leaver or something like that!

_"Mhgggfmfkdkfmdmdnfnfngnfn!" "Mfnfncnfgngnggngmgm" "fkeowkwejfjdidk"_

Said some extremely muffled voices. Luckily just then my head started to clear. "Princess I hope you understand my 'Predicament'? I don't know how clear spike was with that letter" Said Twilight Sparkle

"Yes. I understand. Now Twilight go I must deal with this. Do you understand?" Said a very calm and proper voice that I took to be Princess Celestia

"Of course" she said as I heard hooves-steps? Or just hooves clopping I guess. that meant that she was leaving

I then Opened my eyes to see the real Princess Celestia in front of me! "Hello Sword" She said simply

It took me a minute to process this, she just called me Sword? Even though I'm human! And I've never met her before? "Huh?" Was all I could say.

"Hello dear sister, and Sword, or as you were called in the human world Michael" Said Luna as she Literally, magically appeared by my side. How do they know this?

"Wha?" I couldn't say anything right now, I was speechless. "You may be confused but all will be explained in due time" Said Luna

"As for now you need a place to live" Said Celestia with that calm voice. "Yeah" I still couldn't manage to stutter out anything.

"Where do you want to stay?" Asked Luna. "My own house" I said finally able to say something. "We mean until your house is finished" Said Celestia "Oh, well I guess anywhere someon-or some pony will have me" I responded remembering to say somepony"Also your probably wondering about the Alicorn thing, am I wrong?" Said Princess Luna. Good to see some pony understood that! "Yeah" I stuttered again because this was just getting confusing! And I was getting my own house built?

"Well you see the story goes that on the eve of the 984th sun rising a young Alicorn was born. This Alicorn is you. And before you say anything I must tell you one thing, I'm sorry but you will have to wait a bit longer until you can question us" Said Princess Celestia. Okay wait, so I was born in Equestria, somehow got into earth and that would mean the last, what, 16 years were a lie or what! I'm not a pony! Yet the princess here thinks she can say I am and everything will be alright! How! How! HOW!

"Your true name is Prince Sword Reflect the 3rd. It may be a weird name but it's your weird name. Now let me explain a bit more to you. When you were born you were given immense power. And because of that you were chosen to protect Equestria. But a great evil was rising and we had to hide you. So we sent you to the human and planted false memories in there heads so that they were convinced you had always be There. So you lived 16 years a lie. I know it's a lot to take in but we cannot stay and talk right now." Said Princess Luna

Well at least that was clear but "Huh"was still all I could get out. I was really starting to struggle to get words out now

"Do not fret Sword, all will be clear in given time, for now just make some friends and live your life all will be clear in given time. Goodbye" Said Princess Celestia "Goodbye Sword, I will see you in your dreams" and then they both left. Then Twilight came back in. Well that was certainly brief. I'll make sure she answers my questions the next time I see her! I then heard hoof-steps again.

"So, can I ask you a few questions?" Said twilight "Spike write down anything you hear him say" Spike then pulled out a quill and scroll and replied with "Got it!"

"Question 1: Why were you in my house?" She asked me "don't know" I told her "question 2: How are you an Alicorn?" Once again she asked me "don't know" I said simply. "Do you know anything?" She asked "Nothing accept my name" I told her "And that is?" She asked "Names Prince Sword Reflect the 3rd. It's a terrible name but it runs in the family so I have it. Also my last 16 years of my life are a lie. And I'm extremely frustrated so don't cross me right now!" I yelled at her and she trotted out of the room looking a bit frightened, oops.

* * *

As I woke up that morning for once my head felt okay and I could get up. As I stood up my head started to pound again. Nevertheless I stood. I walked downstairs to see if Twilight was there. I saw her downstairs so I went over to her to talk "sup'" I said "Oh hey Sword. Good Morning" she said in a way that sounded depressed "something wrong? Oh and sorry for snapping at you last night" I really did feel sorry for her.

"Well there is one thing" she told me "yeah? What is it?" I asked "I need some pony to carry my groceries for me, so would you?" She said as she plastered a fake smile on her face "that's it? How long have you been waiting down here?" I asked "5 minutes! I also want to introduce you to my friends!" She said "Fine, just let me wash up first!" I said "Okay" she said. Well I guess she wasn't all goody goody as the show made her to be

* * *

After figuring out how to, 'go to the bathroom' I finally had a chance to see myself in the mirror. I was a brownish tan pony with a brown mane. I obviously had a horn and wings. I was actually pretty buff! My ears were a bit pointed but my tail was like a lightning bolt!

As I went downstairs I saw Twilight with at least 100 bits levitating in the air as we set off. Man how much did she have?

Our first stop was the construction crew where we met a pony named Hammer Arm. Apparently we were there to negotiate the price of my house. After that was finished we set of towards Rarity's Boutique. As we were going I could tell most ponies were eyeballing me. Probably because I was an Alicorn.

When we got to Rarity's and walked in she immediately looked at me and bowed. "Uh what's with the bowing?" I asked her "well with you being an Alicorn I assumed you were royalty" she said "oh, I am royalty but you don't need to bow, so don't worry" I told her "Oh okay then-" I cut her off mid word when I saw the best outfit ever! It was a black jacket with a matching bands for the upper legs. It also had a pair of black shade lined glasses "What is this?" I asked "Oh that, it was supposed to be a design for some kind of, thing, but the person who wanted it cancelled on me so I'm stuck with that. It looks good but it needs more gems and its not done yet. Hmm come to think of it come over here" she said as I walked over. she then started to levitate the shirt and put it on me. She fixed all of the things and she gave me a hoof manicure to match and I looked awesome! I actually looked like some kind of modern day human, gangster, summer guy! Don't judge me its hard to explain

"From this day forth, I shall be known as Prince Sword Reflect the 3rd AKA:The guy with the really hard to explain clothes!" as I announced this I broke into laughter. I looked at Twilight to see she was trying to keep a laugh in until she fell over and started laughing to, even Rarity chuckled.

"How much?" I asked "Free of charge! You are a friend so I don't see why I can't give you one outfit for free. I don't really have anything else to do with it so you have it!" She told me. "Thanks Rarity!" I said as we left the place "I look forward to seeing you!" she said right when we walked out the door

The next stop was Sugar Cube Corner

_RING! _"Hello Mrs. Cake!" Twilight said "Hello Twilight. What do you need today?" Mrs. Cake asked "Do you know where Pinkie Pie is?" Twilight asked "Yes, she's upstairs" Mrs. Came answered. As we walked upstairs I couldn't help but notice the wide selection of treats that they had. There were cupcakes and cakes and muffins and so many other treats! "You coming Sword?" She asked me "Yeah! Sorry!" I said

"Hey Twilight what do you need? Want to have a party? Oh we could have a random party day!" the one and only pinkie pie said. Man she was hyperactive! "Oh who's your new friend? Are we having a party for him? I love having party's for new ponies! Can we-" Twilight cut her off mid sentence "No Pinkie I just wanted to introduce you to my new new friend. His names Sword Reflect." "Oh! Well nice to meet you I'm pinkie Pie! But you can just call me pinkie!" She said as she just about ripped my arm off when we were shaking. "Okay then, bye Pinkie Pie. Nice to meet you!" I said as a cautiously walked to the stairs. "Bye the!" She said as me and Twilight walked out. "Well, that was... Something" I said as we exited sugar cube corner "Don't worry about Pinkie Pie. She's. Um. a good friend but just a bit, hyper" Twilight said "Yeah I get that" I said as we walked towards the apple family farm

"Well howdy there Twilight, What do ya need?" I heard Applejack say "Oh hey Applejack, this is my friend Sword Reflect, hes new in Ponyville so I'm introducing him to all of our friends" Twilight said "Hey I'm the Sword Flash! Number one guy with hard to explain clothes in equestria!" I said. Applejack looked like she was trying to hold back extreme laughter "Yeah he does that a lot" Said Twilight said with a smirk "HEY! I'm not that bad!" I retorted back at her "Its okay. Always nice to have a funny friend around" Applejack said "Oh yeah Applejack we need some apples" Twilight said "Course Sugar cube. how many do ya need?" Applejack asked "We need about 1 basket of apples" Twilight said "gotcha' sugar cube. Applebloom!" She yelled at a yellow pony with a red mane and bow "Yeah sis'!" Applebloom yelled back "We need one basket of apples!" applejack yelled "Okay!" She yelled back as she brought over a basket of apples "hey who is this?" Applebloom asked while looking at me "I'm Prince Sword Reflect the 3rd!" I said "Awesome! Your a prince! And you even have cool shades! are you like the cool king?" She asked me "I wish" I said "Sword we have to go" Twilight said "Fine. By Applejack, Applebloom!" I said as I waved them bye "They were nice" I said to Twilight as we left their farm. "Yeah" she answered back.

Our next stop was Fluttershys cottage. I was actually planning on asking her for a pet while we were there. I mean who doesn't want a pet?

Once we got there I noticed how big it was compared to the show. As I looked around my eyes finally landed on Fluttershy. "Oh hello" She said in her soft voice. "Um hi. I'm here to get a pet" I told her. at that comment her eyes lighted up. "Okay pets are through here" She said as she lead me towards a fence. I heard her clear her throat and got ready for what was coming. My first song on my first day

[To the tune of 'Find a pet' song]

**[Fluttershy] **Sword, I just met you, but cannot express my delight its abundantly clear that somewhere out here is the pet that will suit you just right

**[Sword] **can't wait to get started, but first let me set a few rules it's of top priority The pet that I get is something that's smart and cool

**Fluttershy**: Smart, cool, got it! I have so many wonderful choices, just wait, you will see

**[Sword] **I need something good at fighting that can think on its feet

**[Fluttershy] **Sure! How 'bout a Kitty? They're cutesy and wootsie and always land on there feet

**[Sword] **I didn't mean land on its feet

**[Fluttershy] **Sword, have faith you see, I will bet you somewhere in here is the pet that will get you

**Fluttershy**: Come on, theres no limit!

**Sword**: No IQ limit? That would be good.

**Fluttershy**: Really? Because I think this raccoon has your name written all over it. Yes, he does. Aww, look, he likes you!

**Sword**: Smells.

**[Fluttershy] **I have so many wonderful choices for you to decideThere are otters and seals with massive appeal

**Sword**: Otters and seals aren't that smart.

**Fluttershy**: Maybe not, but I've seen this particular seal get out of a maze in 20 minutes.[seal barks]

**Sword**: Maybe I can come back tomorrow.

**[Fluttershy] **Wait! There must be a pet here that will fit the ticket how 'bout a ladybug, or a cute cricket?

**Sword**: Bigger. And smarter.

**Fluttershy**: Bigger, smarter. Right. I've got just the thing in that tree, Sword meet your new fabulous pet, Squirrely!

**Sword**: It's just a squirrel.

**Fluttershy**: Not just any squirrel. A smart squirrel!

**Sword**: ...What? So, like I was saying...Fluttershy, pal, this won't cut it I need a pal that really can keep up with me Something smart, something light on its feet with coolness that defies gravity!

**Fluttershy**: I'm sensing you want an animal thats smart.

**Sword**: Yeah

**[Fluttershy] **I have plenty of wonderful creatures who are smart or wise like a sweet hummingbird or a giant monarch butterfly**  
**

**Sword**: Better, but cooler.

**[Fluttershy] **I see. How 'bout an owl, or a chimpanzee, or a parrot?There's so many wonderful creatures the likes of that there are dogs and dolphins they are both quite regal or perhaps what you need is a dark and mysterious crow?

**Sword**: Now you're talking! But instead of just one standout, now that's too many choices, and such riches aplenty

**Fluttershy**: Not a bad problem to have, if you ask me.

**[Sword] **The parrot would be awesome, but the crow I'm digging too do you have something in a Multi colored crow?

**Fluttershy**: No.I've got a strong smart eagle, just dying to meet you**  
**

**[Sword] **What to do, what to do? [gasp]A Test! That's it! There's really just one way to find out which animal's best have a test of smarts, skill, and just plain awesomeness that will put each pet to the test**  
**

**[Fluttershy] **Don't forget style, that should be considered**  
**

**[Sword] **Then we'll know for sure who's best of the litter

**[Fluttershy] **The one who is smart as cool

**[Sword] **Just like me can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best

**[Fluttershy** and **Sword****] **So a contest we will see

**[Sword] **Who's the number one, greatest, perfectest pet

**[Fluttershy** and **Sword****] **In the world for me!

**[Fluttershy] **May the games

**[Fluttershy** and **Sword****] **Begin!

**[Sword] **And may the best pet win!

OH YEAH! My first song in the world of Equestria! "Okay then, I don't know what you have in mind but i'll get the animals ready" Fluttershy said behind me "Okay, I guess i'll get the stuff for the competion, thanks Fluttershy!" I called to her as she left "So... that was interesting" I heard Twilight call behind me. "Sorry, heh heh," I said to her. But MAN was that fun! Not exactly manly, but FUN! "Well what do you have in mind?" Twilight asked me "I don't know, probably some kind of smarts competition, a cool competition, and... I guess that's it, nothing to hard" I said "Well, I can help with the smarts test, and we can go see rainbow dash to help with the cool part of it. If you don't mind" Twilight said "Nah, that sounds good" I said back as we made our way towards Rainbow Dash

"AHHHH!" I heard a pony scream and looked up to see a cyan colored pony making a small tornado, she then jumped into the middle of the tornado and the tornado folded into a ball. Just as it looked like a mach cone was forming around the tornado ball Rainbow was thrown out of the ball and onto the ground. Me and Twilight rushed up to her and helped her up. "Oh thanks Twilight and... who are you?" Rainbow asked me "I'm Sword Reflect" I winked at her as a joke. But even so I screamed inside. NO Michael keep your brony side locked up. You may be looking at your favorite charterer but you need to calm down! "What was that awesome trick?" I asked her "Its called a sonic tornabow" she told me "You mean like a sonic boom but inside a tornado?" Iasked her. Was that even possible? "Yeah, I circle inside the tornado and make it spin faster until it becomes supersonic speed. I need another pony though. I cant take it all. Say, are you a good enough flyer to do?" She asked me. Crap. I was going to embarrass myself in front of my idol! "Um... I can only float and glide. Sorry" I told her "Oh... well, that's okay. Maybe I could try to teach you! Fluttershy won't help me and Twilight won't either" She told me. I then noticed that we were sitting on the ground "Sure! But are you sure you have the time?" I asked her "I'm not exactly sure but i'm kinda desperate so i'll have to try" she said. Rainbow Dash? Desperate? Man she must rally want to do this trick "If I master this trick i'll for sure get on the wonderbolts!" She said. Aww that makes more sense.

"Um, Rainbow we need your help" Twilight said "Yeah, what do you need" She asked "We were hoping you could help with judging for our competition" She said. "What kind?" Rainbow asked "Its to help decide a pet" I said to her "You sure? I mean I know the best that a pet can't be decided by simply how cool they are" She said to me "I have a plan!" I said "You do" they both asked at the same time "Yep" I said. I really did have a plan. "Well I guess i'll help" Rainbow said. And we made our way towards Fluttershy's house.

* * *

Turns out Fluttershy had already gotten the animals all prepped. So they were all ready for the competiton. I explained to Rainbow Dash the setup for the first competition and she helped us get ready. Another 10 minutes and we were ready.

"Okay, your first competition will be to show of how cool you are! I expect big things!" I said to the animals as they got ready. The competitors were the owl, the chimpanzee, the parrot, the dog, the dolphin, and the crow. The owl was going first.

The owl turned its head backwards and started pranking everypony that it had no face. "Ha ha ha! That owls certainly a hoot!" I said as me and Rainbow Dash burst into laughter. We had agreed that if what the animal did was rad, cool, awesome, or funny it would count, thus the owl counted. then was the chimpanzee. He started swinging on the trees and throwing things at everypony. Funny, but we had to deduct points for it being slightly cruel. Next was the Parrakeet. He copied every phrase Rainbow Dash said and even said it in an extremely high or low voice depending on the sentence. It was hillarious! He then started a civil conversation with me. I don't know how but he could talk. Albeit it was like a 3 year old talking but he could talk. Nice one parrot. Next was the dog. He did simple dog tricks. Things you would expect out of him. Cool but could be topped. After that was the dolphin. He did water versions of what the dog did. Nothing special. lastly was the crow. This guy actually started beating up a scarecrow. It was actually really cool.

Now was the battle of the brains. This was when I would execute my plan.

Twilight made them all tests to take. She started the timer and they were writing like crazy. I just don't understand how the dolphin was writing. It just was. I mean what the hay? Aside from that I got ready to start my plan. I chucked a rock at the crow and let the chaos unfurl. Discord would be proud.

First the crow started, yelling... Or maybe it's pronounced crowing. But anyway. It blamed the chimpanzee, who them blamed the dolphin, who blamed the owl, and etc. Now the parrot was the only one who didn't blame anypony else. In fact he actually tried to stop them. Well that decided it. If his test scores were good he would be my pet. So yeah that's right, this pony had a plan all along!

Anyway when we finished the tests I got ready to announce the winner. That was easy! "It was close, but the winner by a landslide was the parakeet!" I said to them. But what I thought would be simple wasn't. The crow attacked the parrot and I had to rush forward to help. Then the other animals started stampeding me. Man Fluttershy! Train your animals!

"Sword!" Twilight yelled "Come on Twilight! We've got to help him!" I heard Rainbow Dash call out. "I know, its hard to focus magic on a moving stampede though!" Twilight said. At this point the animals had somehow picked me up. At this I knew that I had to flap my wings. There was no other way out. I flapped as hard as I could only to be met with a Rainbow Dash to the face. OW! That hurt. We both fell to the ground and Rainbow Dash fell on me. "Hey! What was that for!?" she yelled at me "What was what for? I was trying to save myself!" I told her "You should have just let me!" Rainbow yelled "I'm not some helpless damsel in distress I'm not even a damsel! I can help myself just fine!" I yelled at her. Dang, I just got on the bad side of my favorite character! Well I would apologize eventually, but, eh, whatever. "Look, i'm sorry, but i can handle myself" I told her as the parrot came over and landed on my back. "hey one of the animals are you!" Rainbow said changing the subject "Oh, this guy, if Fluttershys okay with it, is going to be my new pet. He was the only one who didn't mob me" I told her "Oh, well, I guess i'm sorry to, but your not completely forgiven!" She told me "Fair enough" I said back

* * *

"I'm really sorry about there behavior sword" Fluttershy told me for the umpteenth time. "It's okay. Thanks for perry!" I called to her as we walked of. Now your probably wondering what happened well. Fluttershy rounded up the animals, Rainbow Dash left, and I talked to Fluttershy about keeping the parrot. I named him Perry, I don't know why but it suited him. Twilight said she had to leave sometime after Rainbow left so I was walking towards the house by myself.

Twilight had given me a map of Ponyville so I could remember where the library was. Man this place was so much bigger than the show. I's say it was at least 4 times bigger! as i made it to the house I noticed that the lights were out, wasn't Twilight there? whatever. I walked in anyways

"Wheres the light switch?" As I said that the light turned on and I saw almost everypony in Ponyville and they all yelled out simultaneously "WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!" Pinkie Pie was the first to come up "Hey there Sword! Cool party right? Its all just for you! There's punch and cake and cupcakes and cookies and all kinds of things! We have games like pin the tail on the pony and all kinds of things!" Pinkie said in supersonic speed "wow, thanks Pinkie Pie!" I told her. I can't believe that I was at one of Pinkie Pies party's! "Well oki-dokey-loki! Me and the others will be over there if you want us!" She said and pointed to a corner of the room.

The first thing I wanted to do was meet some of the extras! Like Derpy and Cherry Fizzy and Berry Punch! So that was the first thing I did. Derpy actually came over to me first, or technically tripped over to me. We then started talking and became friends pretty quick. I met a lot of the other extras to and sometime through the night I met up with the mane 6. It was a great party but after about half of the ponies left I 'hit the hay' to.

* * *

As I got ready to go to bed I thought back on the day. I was still denying that I was actually born in Equestria but I was still trying to enjoy myself. Twilight put me in a guest room right under hers.

As I went into a deep sleep my mind was thinking up at least 100 questions and I wanted them all answered. but I fell to sleep before more questions popped out of my mind

* * *

**"So how was it everypony?" The handsome author said "I hope it was good because now its time to play some 'Know Your Mare'!**

**"Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare" The disembodied voice said**

**"Sword Reflect's parents, are mentally unstable and the princess lied to him to make him feel better" The disembodied voice said "HEY! We haven't even talked about my parents yet! And how do you know I was born in Equestria!" Sword yelled at the voice**

**"Sword Reflect, isn't really buff he's actually fat" The disembodied voice said "Hey! I am to strong!" Sword said**

**"He's as fat as a whale" The voice said "AM NOT!" Sword said**

**"Sword Reflect, Used to eat pony as a human" The voice said "HEY! I only ate cow, pig, turkey, chicken, hor-or uh never mind the last one" Sword said**

**"Sword Reflect, is a complete bragger" The voice said "Hey I don't brag!"**

**"Sword Reflect, is the protector of Equestria" The voice said "Oh yeah the princess did say that" Sword said**

**"Sword Reflect, just bragged about being the protecter of Equestria" The voice said "HEY! Thats cheating!" Sword said**

**"Now you know, Sword Reflect" The voice said**

**"HEY! YOU BIG LIAR! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BRAGGING! WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET THE BITS FOR THIS? HONESTLY! OH... Whatever. Butthole" Sword says as he walks off.**


	4. S1 EP3: The Dream

**Welcome back everypony! Today we will be giving some good news for season 5! **

**1. It has been confirmed that there will be 26 episodes for us to watch and marvel at!**

**2. It is coming out in 2015**

**3. M.A. Larson is coming back!**

**Thats all I have now but it should be good enough!**

**Anyway. Today we get to learn more about Sword and the princesses strange behavior. Because of that Sword will be getting some character development done. I know, I'm awesome! Also I will be posting much more frequently. I hope. Anyway thanks everypony and well yeah, let's get ready.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of this except my OC's**_

* * *

"Ahhhhh!" I heard everypony scream as they ran. It was almost like that weird trial place when I had to fight the Chimera. Minus the redness and everything turning into a dubstep video. I ran to the nearest Pony to ask what was happening but NO FREAKIN PONY WOULD LISTEN!

Okay Michael... Or, Sword? Think this through. I woke up in the street. Everyponys screaming. Your in... Ponyville. Obviously this is a dream. Because first of all I'm a light sleeper so the screams would have woken me up before somepony carried me into the street. Second of all, there's no threat around what so ever. So unless these ponies are crazy then nothing here would be real. I decided to think up a different landscape like I had in the place I was in when Princess Luna talked to me.

The place I thought up was a nice hillside. With beatifull bushes and trees and Talking dolphins everywhere! Well... Minus the dolphins. when I opened my eyes the scene had shifted to exactly what I had imagined. So it was a dream.

"Hello Sword, or as they called you in your world, Michael. Welcome to the dream plain" I heard Princess Lunas booming voice overhead. "Are you real or part of the dream, if you don't mind me asking Princess" I asked Luna. "I'm as real as you are. Anyway, this is a dream. As you figured out. But it is no ordinary dream. Its a lucid dream" She told me, but I had kinda already figured that out. "All members of the royal family have them" Oh, well that made more sense "Okay then, so do I get free reign over this place?" I asked her "Yes, anything goes in here, but if I ever come to say hi then don't think up any bad things" She told me. "Yeah that would be a good idea" I said back

"Well then, bye Sword!" She said. Once again, a sudden and brief visit

'So. Free reign over this place. I might as well make some company!' I decided to think up other versions of myself. My nerd version. My rage mode. My happy mode. My sad mode. My Stale mode. And my cool mode.

As I opened my eyes I noticed multiple versions of me in front of me. One was as bit as big Macintosh, another was about as buff as, well me. but had a bow tie on, a Doctor Who overcoat on, pokeballs on a belt around his waist, a stash of Shurikens on his belt and a pair of nerdy glasses on his face, he was the most iconic. Another was the same as me but wearing a bright yellow shirt and was wearing a grin that would put Pinkie Pie to shame. Yet another was wearing a gray shirt and had a frown on his face. Another was wearing a plain white shirt with no expression what so ever on his face. while the last was a slightly stronger than me, me with a pair of sunglasses, and an explorers shirt. If I had to say who they were I would say Rage, Nerd, Happy, Sad, Stale, and cool.

"Hello there!" Nerd me said in a slight British Accent. "Sup'?" Cool me said "Hi" stale me said "Hello!" Happy me said "Um... Hi?" Sad me said "Hi" Rage me said. "Guys I think we need names for each other" I told them "Agreed" Nerd me said in that British accent. "Fine, but mine better be cool!" Rage me said "Got it. Okay here are the nicknames. Rage us is... Destroyer. Regular us is just Michael. Sad us is... Blue. Happy us is... F.T, or Fun times. Expressionless us is... Well I guess Stale will work. Cool us is... Tiger. And Nerd us, or me is The Doctor Jr.! Or D.J for short" Nerd me, or D.J. Said as we all nodded our heads in approval.

"So what do you want to do" I asked them "Think up zombies and kill them" Destroyer said "Why would we do that when we can be doing so much more?" F.T. Asked "We could alyways just fight evil aliens?" I said "Yeah, I'm down with that" Tiger said "Or we could sing that song?" F.T said We all started to smile (Minus Stale who just shook his)

**"Bohemian Rhapsody"**

All: Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide,

No escape from reality.

Open your eyes,

Look up to the skies and see,

Sword: I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,

All: Because I'm easy come, easy go,

Little high, little low,

Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.

Sword: Mama, just killed a man,

Put a gun against his head,

Pulled my trigger, now he's dead.

Mama, life had just begun,

But now I've gone and thrown it all away.

Mama, ooh,

Didn't mean to make you cry,

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,

Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

Too late, my time has come,

Sent shivers down my spine,

Body's aching all the time.

Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.

Mama, ooh (anyway the wind blows),

I don't wanna die,

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

D.J. and Tiger: I see a little silhouetto of a man,

All: Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?

Destroyer and Stale: Thunderbolt and lightning,

Very, very frightening me.

Destroyer: (Galileo)

D.J.: Galileo.

Destroyer: (Galileo)

D.J.: Galileo,

Destroyer and D.J.: Galileo Figaro

Magnifico.

Sword: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.

All: He's just a poor boy from a poor family,

Spare him his life from this monstrosity.

Sword: Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?

Other six: Bismillah! No, we will not let you go.

D.J: (Let him go!)

Destroyer, Stale, Tiger: Bismillah! We will not let you go.

F.T., D.J., Blue: (Let him go!)

Destroyer, Stale and Tiger: Bismillah! We will not let you go.

Sword: (Let me go!)

Destroyer, Stale and Tiger: Will not let you go.

Sword: (Let me go!)

Destroyer, Stale and tiger: Never, never let you go

Sword: Never let me go, oh.

All: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Destroyer: Oh, mama mia, mama mia

Sword: (Mama mia, let me go.)

All: Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me.

Sword: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?

So you think you can love me and leave me to die?

Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

Other six: (Oh, yeah, oh yeah)

Sword: Nothing really matters,

Anyone can see,

Nothing really matters,

Nothing really matters to me.

Anyway the wind blows.

_*All rights reserved to Queen*_

_P.S. This is a tribute to Queen!(Or at least the best I could do)_

"That was Awesome!" I yelled out "Can we sing some country next?" F.T. asked "Even I have to admit that was pretty good. But if you tell anyone else that I will gut you!" Destroyer yelled at us. "Next up its Fighting time!" Tiger yelled. It seems as though all of my personalitys at least had the same interest.

"Yes! Time to fight! I've got the bad guys!" Destroyer yelled "I've got weapons!" I told them all as I started imagining weapons for us all. For me I got a candy sword. Destroyer got super saiyan powers. Blue got a water gun (I'm even cruel to myself!). F.T got a Rainbow machine gun. Stale got a stale cracker launcher (I'm sorry I had to). Tiger got an explosives pouch. And D.J. got a ninja headband from the hidden leaf village to go along with the shurikens.

Destroyer had thought up some zombies, aliens from Halo, giant robots and evil flying panties. Was I really that dumb? Anyway we all charged and got ready to fight.

I started up against the giant robots with D.J., we started of by just hacking at there limbs but it wouldn't work. So instead D.J. Threw the Shurikens at the robots eyes. One hit and it wobbled around before it grabbed me. I used that to my advantage as I jumped out of its grasp and cut its hand off. But another one came out of nowhere and grabbed me. D.J. Saw this and threw a Shuriken at the robots hand. It ended up impaling me. I looked at the place and saw a big bleeding scar right where the chimera had bit me in the weird trial place. "Nice throw D.J." I said to him. He just smiled back. Was I really that much of a butthole? He threw another one and hit the hand causing the robot to release me from it's grip. I then sliced its hand off to. I then ran up its arm and jabbed my sword into its eyes. It stumbled around before falling over onto its comrade causing them to both be knocked over and ended the battle. That was easy.

We then both ran over to Tiger and F.T., they were fighting the Halo aliens. I ran up to the nearest one and sliced its head of. I continued doing that until the last ones left were 20 hunters. Well that would be hard. D.J. Was trying to throw Shurikens at them but they just lept bouncing off. I couldn't go head on or else I would get killed. So it was up to F.T. and Tiger. Tiger and F.T. Started whispering to each other. Then Tiger Chucked a plasma Grenade and F.T. Shot it. It then burst and the plasma hit all of the hunters. Tiger then pulled out 10 more grenades and threw them. Those grenades caused the plasma to erupt which killed all the hunters and left them looking like they had an extreme case of hives.

We then all ran over to Destroyer, Blue, and stale who were taking on the zombies. Destroyer was Ka-me-ha-meing everything while Blue was shooting water at them all. Stale was shooting stale crackers at them. Yeah, maybe it was dumb to do that to blue and stale. We all then charged the rest of them. I was just hacking away. About 5 minutes later they were all dead and we had one more problem to deal with. The panties.

We all charged them but they laser eyed us away. I then threw my sword at it and made a small scratch. Destroyer was battling it by using Gohans masenko against its laser eyes. D.J. Was throwing Shurikens at it. F.T. Was shooting rainbows at it which were burning it. Blue was starting to make it weigh more by adding water with his water guns. And Stale was eating his Crackers on the sidelines. Butthole. Tiger was grenadine it.

Butt all at once thanks to luck alone, It collapsed under the added weight of the water. Destroyer beat its laser eyes. D.J.s Shurikens made holes threw it. F.T. Shof a bunch of holes threw it. Tiger grenaded a hole threw it. And finally, my Sword boomeranged back and made a hole right threw its middle into my hand. Aww yeah! That was awesome! "Great fight guys" I said to them. "Yeah" they all responded in unison

Of course we were all exausted so we passed out.

* * *

**Princess Luna's POV**

Interesting choice of things to do. Sing then switch around and fight... Fight whatever those things were. What was that giant flying pink thing though? Who knows. But at least he met his other selves. And from this I know that I can trust him to protect Equestria, somewhat. Well might as well wait and see what else he can do

* * *

**Well? How was it? I know it was shorter thank usual so I'm sorry. Anyway. **

**Warning Minor Spoiler ahead: His personalities are a big part of one of the seasons. **

**Anyway everypony today nothing special is happening so um, sorry. And see ya in a while!**


	5. Chapter 4: Bridle Gossip (I'm serious)

**Hello Everypony! Today we have our first cursing! And a lot if it! But don't worry it's all bleeped out!**

***Tirek comes up again and says* "Why the #$%# Would you bleep out cursing" **

**"Master Chief! Sick him!" The handsome author said "On it sir let's kill this #%$$&#$$!" Master chief said "Celestia #%*$ it Master chief no cursing! Oh %*## now I'm doing it to" The handsome author said. **

**"Ha ha ha! Try to bleep out all of this *%#$&$# cursing #%*$$!" Tirek said**

**Warning: There will be real cursing in this chapter. Only f bombs and female dogs will be bleeped out (That means only the f word and the b word will be bleeped out)**

**P.S. If you have a medical condition where you are allergic to laughter, are a pregnant male, see flying panties in your dreams, have eaten a half eaten road killed skunk, Hates me, hates singing, hates OC's, has made out with his dogs butt on purpose, pees his pants every time he laughs, or hates cursing, skip this chapter and go on to the next one (These next chapters are to test out my terrible sense of humor!) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of this except my OC's! Understood!**

* * *

Sword Reflects POV

"Ugh!" My head hurt again. I thought this $& %#*& was over! Why did I just curse? You know what who #%$$&&# cares! What $$&%# in the world really cares! I don't! Nope-nada-not me- zip zap (Other words that go with this)

"Twilight! Are you #%$&$$% downstairs again?" Oops. Didn't mean to curse there "Sword I'm still sleeping! It's... Oh it's 9:00" Twilight said "Just get the $&$% up!" Oops. I didn't mean to do that either. I heard a large gasp from upstairs "Sword get out of my house!" She yelled at me as she marched down the stairs with her hair, or mane technically still messed up "Actually it's a #%*#$& tree, not a house. Why the #%^* do I keep on cursing? Ugh!" I yelled at her and myself (However that works) "Get out!" She yelled again and brought a broom up to make her point.

"Okay %#$&$." I said to her as I walked out the door "Listen Sword. I don't know why your cursing but I thought you were nice! Go think about what you've done!" She yelled at me as she slammed the door in face. Well I felt like a little fo- or, why did I try to say foal? I felt like a little kid! There! I was able to say it! It took effort but I said little kid!

Now, to the immediate problem. If I kept on cursing I was going to aggravate some ponies. And the cursing might rub of on them. And if they cursed to there could be a law against it! Then they would all go to jail! And there families would want revenge. So they would learn how to make explosives. Then guns! Then when one ponies trying to figure out a cheaper way to get gunpowder they would make Tabasco and start selling it! The. I would try to stop the madness and buy up everything. But letting my nerves get the better of me I would get addicted and become the top drug lord! Then since all the ponies of Equestria want my 'Treats' they would create a, uh... Pony army that will rebel against Princess Celestia. I would be the leader with Derpy at my side, Derpy would have on a bowler hat and a mustache made of muffin crumbs. I would have a monocle on and Celestia would have a Cigar in her mouth

_"It seems as though my, treats have even reached you Celestia" I would say to her "Indeed. But you and your associates will be brought to justice" She would answer back "Or we could reach an agreement. My new stash of treats. For your kingdom" I would say to her. "And here's a little motivation" Derpy would say as she pulled out a gun "Fine. But all of my subjects must get your treats" she would say "Fair enough. As long as you don't rebel" I would say as I hand over a cigar to her. "Thank you. Now. Here is the deed to the kingdom" she would say as she handed it over to me. But then the mane six would bust through the window in cop suits and Twilight would say "Princess stop this!" Celestia would then reply with "No. His treats are to amazing! See for yourself!" Celestia would then shove a cigar in Twilights mouth. Twilight overcome by the urge to have more would shove them all in her friends mouths and shove 5 more in hers. The mane 6 all being satisfied with them would turn bad cop and be my main drug dealers. I would rule for 35 years only because the drugs would pollute the air and everypony would live shorter. Thus ending all life in Equestria. But someday philosophers from earth would make a portal and see the mess and say. "Earth already killed another dimension" (Don't do drugs kids!)_

"Uh hello! Sword!" I heard a pony say "Ahhhhh" I screamed as I jumped. I looked at the pony only to find Rainbow Dash on the ground cracking up "Ha ha ha!" She laughed at me "Yeah Yeah laugh it up. But Im getting you back!" I said to her. And this time I didn't curse. Hell yeah! "Rainbow stay away from him!" I heard Twilight yell at Rainbow Dash. "Why?" She asked Twilight "He just broke a law. 4 times" She said to Dash matter-of-factly "What law?" She asked looking bored. She probably thought it was a law Twilight made up like 'No using my toothbrush' or 'Don't look at panties Michael' (Okay maybe the last one was a good law but come on! If a guy wants to look he's going to look! It's in our nature!) "He cursed" Twilight once again said with her Matter-of-fact face. Now at this Rainbow Dash gasped and actually tackled me "You what!" She yelled at my face (She had saliva dangling from her chin! And she spit on me! Asshole!) "I cursed a bit what's the big deal?" I asked her "What's the big deal? What's the big deal? The big deal is that you just committed a Felony! 3 times!" Twilight said as she teleported to me. Oh. That made sense. But I did almost notice a smirk on Rainbow Dashes face.

How was I going to weasel my way out of this one? Aha! I had the perfect excuse! "Well Twilight. I lived out of Equestria for a while. And cursing was allowed there" I told her putting on my best normal face. "How long did you live there?" She asked me "13 years" I told her bluntly. She then eyed me with a dubious face. "Okay. But if you do it again I'm not going to be so nice" she told me.

Now nothing really happened that day. It was the usual. (Or at least Twilights usual. I didn't have a usual here yet)

One thing I did notice though was that everypony was hurrying to get things done. As if tomorrow was the apocalypse or something. Twilight seemed to notice it to.

Of course we both let it slide.

* * *

That night I once again dreamed of my other personalities. We would start of with a song and then right after we would fight giant flying panties and some other monsters. This night we fought giant flying panties and my grandmother. The thing that was worst about it (You know rage is a total asshole to do this to us!) was that my grandma was wearing the panties! So she only had panties on. And might I say it was such a terryfying dream I'm pretty sure I pissed and shit myself in real life. Of course after we defeated her she blew up and rained the mother load of everything holy. Two words 'Sexy Girls'. Best and worst dream ever!

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold poop! (I know. I just won the Worst joke of the year award. And this joke stunk so bad even godzillas turds couldn't compare! Oh and if you didn't get the first one it was cold poop instead of cold sweat. Because I crapped myself seeing my 'Grandma') I eventually got back to sleep and drifted into dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Wow what a gorgeous day!" Twilight said "Eh. I've seen better" I said to her "True but at least Rainbow Dash got up early for once and cleared the clouds" Spike replied to me "I bet everypony is going to be out enjoying the sunshine. Wait? Where is everypony?" Twilight said to us. Oh shit! Not bridle gossip! Well at least I knew what season I was in. But wait. Rainbow Dash helped judge my pet contest! And she said she new a pet wasn't based of coolness the best! Well that meant that the episodes weren't in the order of the show. I knew that now. But why did I have to land in Bridle Gossip. I had a couple options here

1) End it right away

2) End it after we run through poison joke by showing Twilight the cure in the book

3) Let them learn there lesson and play along with it

Well. Option 3 would be the best because I get to witness it all play out and see all of the terrible storyline play out. Option 3 it is!

"Is it some sort of pony holiday?" Spike asked us "Not that I know of" Twilight said "Does my breath smell bad?" Spike asked "Only for about a mile. Then you can just smell slight rot" I said joking around with. "Is it... Zombies" Spike asked "Oh no! It's the apocalypse! Help us!" I screamed. Spike them jumped off Twilights back and started screaming and yelling. I then burst into laughter

"Why are you laughing! The zombies are going to eat our brains!" Spike yelled at me "Spike I was kidding!" I told him. He then calmed down a bit but still looked edgy

"Psst! Twilight! Spike! Sword! Come here! Hurry! Before she gets you!" Pinkie Pie said Twilight then groaned at Spike saying this "Who? The zombie pony!" He said again as he started shaking. Okay maybe I scared him a little bit too much. "Spike Sword said he was messing with you! There are no Zombie ponies! Pinkie, what are you doing here alone in the dark?" Twilight said "I'm not alone in the dark" Pinkie said showing us the rest of the mane 6 "Okay then what are you all doing here in the dark?" Twilight asked them "We're hiding from her" Applejack said (go to theme song now)

"Did you see her Twilight? Did you see... Zecora?" Apple bloom asked twilight. "Apple bloom I told you to never say that name! Oh and Sword, this here is my little sis' apple bloom" Applejack said to me "Nice to meet you Apple bloom. I'm Sword" I said to her "Good to meet ya' to mister Sword" she said to me

"So did you see her Twilight? Or did you see her Sword?" Pinkie Pie asked us "I saw her glance this way" I told Pinkie "Glance Evilly this way?" She said to me "Then I saw you all flip out for no good reason. She just looked this way" I told them all. Maybe I should just end this. "No good reason! Do you call protectin' yer kin no good reason! Why as soon as my sister saw Zecora ridin' into town she started shakin' in her lil' horseshoes!" Applejack said to me "Did not!" Apple bloom protested

"So I swept her up and brought her here" applejack said "I walked here myself" apple bloom retorted to her. At that remark I snorted a bit. Man these ponies were dumb. Well not dumb just, dumb at times! Only at times though. "She's mysterious" I heard Fluttershy say. Guess I missed a bit of the conversation "Sinister" Rainbow Dash said "And Spooooky" Pinkie pie said everypony then gasped (Minus a groan from Twilight) "Will you cut that out" Twilight asked them all "But just look at those stripes! So garish!" Rarity said finally stepping into the conversation "She's a zebra" me and Twilight said at the same time

"A what?" They all asked us "A zebra. And her stripes aren't a fashion choice Rarity, they're what she was born with" Twilight told them. To which Rarity fainted "Born where? I've never seen a pony like that in these parts _cept' her_" Applejack said "Well she's probably not from here, and she's not a pony. My books say zebras come from a far away land. But I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live" Twilight asked them "That's just it, she lives in the... Ever free forest!" Applejack said. At which the same time Spike fell of Twilights back and made a crash sound. "Nice one Spike. Way to add on to the mood" I said to him with a huge grin.

"Sorry" He said back to me. "Its okay" I told him "The Everfree forest just ain't right. The plants grow..." Applejack said "The animals care for themselves" Fluttershy said "clouds move..." Rainbow dash said "All on there own!" They all said in unison. Rarity having recovered from fainting, fainted again. Of course to I was thinking this 'Oh no! Somewhere that follows the laws of physic! So terrifying!' "And the wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing evil... Stuff! She's so evil I wrote a song about her!" Pinkie "Here we go" Me and Rainbow Dash said at the same time while sighing

[To the tune of 'Evil Enchantress' by Pinkie Pie]

She's an evil enchantress

She does evil dances

And if you look deep in her eyes

She'll put you in trances

Then what will she do?

She'll mix up an evil brew

Then she'll gobble you up

Ina big tasty stew

_Soooooo_... _Watch out!_

"Wow. Catchy" Twilight said. "It's a work in progress" Pinkie said "If you ask me this is all just a bunch of bull shit" I said, forgetting that was a felony (How is cursing a felony?). "Sword! Remember what I told you!" Twilight yelled at me "Twilight sweetie, calm down it's just a bit of cursing, it's not like its a crime or anything" Rarity said, oblivious to Twilight and Rainbow Dashes comments about a felony.

"TWILIGHT!" I yelled at her "Heh heh heh" She laughed nervously. You know what. As payback against Dash and Twilight I was going to let them run into the poison joke. I was going to laugh my ass of. And I wasn't going to help them find a cure. I was just going to sit there and make snarky comments at Dash and Twilight. Screw them!

"Who cares" I said causing her to sigh in relief. "Anyway. What have you ever actually seen her do?" Twilight asked them "Well once a month she comes into ponyville" Dash said "Ohhhh! Spooky! I'm just shivering thinking about somepony coming into town!" I said with sarcasm. "Then she lurks by the stores" Rarity said. "Oh no she wants to buy stuff! Run for lives!" I said. "Then she digs at the ground" Fluttershy said "Oh no! She may be trying to plant something! Or even worse she's burying something! Or collecting samples!" I said "Yeah! What if she's just tryin to be neighborly" Applebloom said. "Applebloom hush and let the big ponies talk" Applejack said degrading her little sister. "I am a big pony" Applebloom muttered under her breath. "But still digging at the ground is pretty weird!" Dash said to me "I already explained what she might be trying to do!" I said to her

"But I heard that Zecora eats hay" Pinkie said "Pinkie you eat hay!" I said to her "But you don't! I havent seen you eat one hay product since you got here!" She said to me with suspicion in her voice "I just got here about a day ago and have barely eaten anything" I said to her while dodging a bullet in the process "Your story checks out. This time!" She said to me.

"Hey where's Applebloom?" Applejack asked us "The doors open!" Fluttershy said "She went outside!" Rarity said "And Zecoras still out there!" Dash said "That silly' filly. I told her to stay put" Applejack said "Spike you stay here in case Applebloom come back" Twilight said to the little dragon. "Will do!" He said to Twilight. 'This will be fun!' I thought to myself.

* * *

As we walked through the grass into the ever free forest I couldn't help think about my sweet revenge on Twilight and Dash. The others were just... Formalities.

I then heard an odd noise come from up ahead. "Applebloom?" Applejack yelled to the now see able pony. She then gasped as we came up "You get back here right now!" Applejack yelled at her "Beware! Beware, you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!" Zecora said to us "y-you keep your creepy mumbo-jumbo to yourself you hear!" Applejack said to her. I started to back away about then. I was NOT seeing what that stuff would do to me! After that all the ponies (excluding me and Twilight) started to talk over each other about the curses or something (I'm not going to list every detail!).

"Oh Celestia help us" I said. "Yeah back at you Zecora! You and your lame curses are the ones who better beware!" Dash yelled at her "And why couldn't you just listen to your big sister?" Applejack asked Applebloom. "I... I..." Applebloom said. (Its more of a mumble). "Who knows what kind of nasty curse Zecora could've put on you!" Applejack yelled at her (holy shit! These ponies have strong voices! It just about blasted my eardrums out!) "Just like in my song!" Pinkie said as she tries (and failed thanks to me) to sing 'Evil Enchantress'.

"No Pinke!" I said cutting her off. "Aww" she said

"You guys there's no such thing as curses!" Twilight said to them "Well, thats interesting to hear coming from Ms. Magic pants herself" Dash said to Twilight "My magic, real magic, comes from within. It's a skill your born with. Curses are artificial, fake magic. It's conjured with potions and incantations; all smoke and mirrors ment to scare. But curses have no real power, there just a ponies tale" Twilight said to them

"Just you wait Twilight. Your gonna learn that some pony tales are true!" Applejack said to her. This was going to be good.

* * *

_Twilights POV_

_"She's an evil enchantress, she does evil dances" Pinkie Pie sung_

_"Beware, Beware" Zecora said_

_"If you look deep in her eyes, she will put you in a trancess" Pinkie Pie continued to sing_

_ "E-" _

"Twilight! Wakey wakey shit with gravy!" I heard Sword say to me cutting me off from my previous dream. "So any curses?" He asked me "not unless my hair is a curse" I told him "why can't I use my magic?" I said out loud. "Sword could you use yours to help me?" I asked him. But when I looked back I noticed something about him I hadn't ever noticed before (probably because of his gangster outfit, he was an idiot wearing that). He didn't have a cutie mark. "Sword where's your cutie mark?" I asked him "oh... Um... Well talk about this later!" He told me

"Okay" I said to him grabbing my comb and brushing my hair back and- oh Celestia! My horn! It was... Spotted! And... Floppy! "Sword!" I yelled at him "I see the poison joke took effect" He said to me holding back laughter "You know about this!" i yelled at him "Oh yeah! It's a curse!" He said to me. Hopefully trying to be funny. I mean curses weren't real! Or maybe they were?

"To the library!" I said "No thanks!" He said to me "Why not?" I asked. Dreading the answer. "REVENGE!" He yelled at me "do the others have this to?" I asked him "yep. But as long as you and Rainbow Dash are cursed I'm good" he said to me. Oh the nerve of this colt!

* * *

_Sword Reflects POV_

Oh this was priceless. Seeing them on T.V. Was much different in real life. Twilight freaked out on me when I kept on claiming it was a curse. Thank the gods (Whether there from earth or Equestria!) that I was strong enough to bad her in. Until she used her magic. I then preceeded to run out of the house yelling numerous curses, and told spike to stick his middle finger at Twilight (good thing he didn't know what he was doing).

"Hrm Sormpe?" Pinie asked me. "Oh shit! Not her!" I yelled running as fast as I could. I was not letting Twilight catch me! "Oh no you don't!" I heard Rainbow Dash yell. I then preceeded to run faster.

I knocked over a cart and hoped to Celestia it would work! "Sormme!" Pinkie said to me (It wasn't a spitting like the show made it out to be. It was more of a hum, or a mumble). "Help me!" I said noticing Pinkie to the right. I stopped suddenly and stuck my foot out. It knocked her over but Rainbow Dash saw and stopped a bit up.

"Aha!" Twilight yelled coming up from behind. "Never!" I yelled at her. I started flapping my wings harder than ever and managed to get up enough to dodge her. "See ya!" I said landing and running even harder than before. I saw Lyre up ahead (She was one of the background ponies I met at Pinkies party. "Lyre! Use your magic to chuck me somewhere!" I yelled to her "Why!" She yelled back "Just do it!" I yelled to her with frustration in my voice. I looked back and saw them getting closer. I then felt a tingling sensation around my body.

And then I was chucked

"Thanks Lyre!" I said as I waited to get to maximum height.

I got to it and them spread my wings and glided. "Ha ha! $ #% you guys!" I yelled at them (I didn't really care if I started a war. I was going to curse if I wanted to). "Not so fast!" I heard a voice yell only to see Rainbow Dash flying (and failing) towards me. "Aw shit!" I said as she crashed into me "Why!" I yelled at the sky. "Ha! Got you!" Dash yelled at me triumphantly "Not so fast!" I said. I started to think of the town square. I closed my eyes and opened thme back up to see I was back in the town square. Thank you magic!

"Not this time Sword" 'Harity' said from behind me "and how is the pooch going to get me huh?" I said to her "like this!" She said to me as she brought up a dress. "Aw Shit!" I said.

* * *

"No no no no no! None of these books have a cure! Ugh! There has to be a real reason for this, an illness, an allergy?!" Twilight yelled out, almost as ticked as me. Almost! "I told you it was a curse!" I said trying to get her to just learn the freaking lesson

"Be quiet or help us Candy" Twilight said to me with a slight snicker "I wouldn't be talking Twilight" I said to her. They were calling me Candy because 'Harity' put a dress on me. And as they said my full name was Candy Sword. The Assholes were hatin' and I was ticked! And I couldn't get the dress off. "How about this book?" Spike said "Supernaturals? Spike the word supernatural refers to things like ghosts and spirits and zombies, which are as make-believe as curses. This book is just a bunch of hooey!" She yelled at him "But what if you're wrong, Twilight? What if this really is a-" "A phurse!" Pinkie Pie said interrupting Spike in the middle of his sentence. "A purse how could it be a purse?" Spike said

It was at that moment I realized something. You know how sometimes you ask for something but its not what you wanted, well I asked for this and it is what I wanted sooo... as a wise man once said, $& # with everything you can if what you got is what you wanted but you didn't realize what it entailed!

"For Narnia!" I yelled out and looked at there oblivious faces. "What Swo-" Dash said getting interrupted by me halfway through "Talking Lions!" I said as I ran away.

I looked around for some place to go when I saw the Everfree forest. 'In there' I though to myself, even though I would regret it one day (not really, this just adds suspense).

I dashed through and looked out to find the mane 6 just looking around. 'Suckers' I thought to myself "Asshole" I heard Dash mutter under her breath "Dash! I understand Sword cursing being a stallion and it being his first couple days in Ponyville, he even bought that, horrid outfit. I mean it looks good on him but the idea, is just so... Ughhhhhh" Rarity said muttering the last part. 'My outfits not that bad!' I thought to myself.

"Time to go" I muttered to myself. As I walked out I could just barely hear the mane 6 rambling on and... Growling? I looked back and saw a Timberwolve 'Shit' I thought

"Argh! Celestia might as well Shit on my head and claim me dead" I muttered under my breath. Oh god what could help me... Aha! Magic!

I thought of Twilight house and felt an unormous muscle spasm happen I fell over and saw I was still in the forest with 3 new timberwolves to go along with the first. "Shit!" I said again.

"Ummmm. Accio Pots and pans" I said out loud focusing on some pots and pans in my mind. Please work! Magic and Applejack don't fail me now! I felt strain on my body again, not nearly as much but enough for me to stumble.

"Aggggghhhhh" I felt some scratching on my sides and opened my eyes to see some blood trickling out of the marks and a Timberwolve breathing down my neck "Uggghhhh! Breath mints fur ball! Well I guses I should just call you grassball" I said which didn't really help as he snapped at me, I just barely raised my hooves in time.

"Accio Firebolt! Accio Firebolt!" I yelled frantically focusing on a broom with my hoove in the air. I felt that tug and before I knew it I opened my eyes and a broom flew out of nowhere and went straight through the wolve on top of me's head and into my hoof. I was splattered with plant blood (just imagine a bunch of green turds all over me)

I looked up and saw one of the wolves backing away. Another had a hole through its body. Thank you broom! The last one was starting to advance though.

As luck would have it a pair of pots and pans came flying through the air and nailed me in the face. "Shit!"

The Timberwolve growled and pounced. But the pots and pans blocked it. "Asshole" I said yelling at it. It was then that the Timberwolve decided to shit on me. "No I didn't mean use your asshole!" I said angrier that before. I pushed it off an attacked it. It was then that I heard a voice

"Come pony friends, and Applebloom, let us go see what has happened to my broom"

Not now! The timberwolve turned to face them. "Ugh!" I yelled pouncing the creature. It turned its head back and bit me. "Sword!" I heard a voice yell "Vision blackening" I said under my breath. *clang* I heard a loud noise to my side. I felt loopy, but you know what who gives a shit (besides that timberwolve, he certainly gives a shit) I decided to say the first thing that came to mind "why was the horse naked?" I said "huh" I heard another voice but my vision was to dim to see. "Because his jockey fell off" I said slurping the last word. "ha, jockey sounds like jockstrap, and we all know what those protect, yep, no colt wants there big boys pounded in" Heh heh. Yeah. I certainly wouldnt like a dose of pain there! No siree! Heh, uh

* * *

So, yeah cursing has begun, and so has me getting to torture my badly written OC. Anyway nothing to say about this chapter except adios, and if your gonna hate then at least tell me what's wrong besides, 'he's an alicorn' (spoiler alert)

Not for freaking long

Anyway, if you think there are a bunch of potholes then me tell you this, all will be explained in due time!

Anyway favorite this story on fimfiction to help, make fan art (if you do pm me) and be sure to fav, follow, review!


	6. Dirty Jokes

**Yes! This chapter is to make up for my terrible humor! So have fun and hopefully this will make up for my bad sense of humor**

(This chaptures rated M for a LOT of Sexual themes, and blonde jokes)

(unless you can't read M in which I'm sorry but just deal with it)

[Sword in a comedy club]

"1. I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, "No, but I have done 53 - that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

2. Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in.

3. Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.

"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."

Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"

4. THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

December 14, 1972

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always, Agnes

* * *

December 15, 1972

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love, Agnes

* * *

December 16, 1972

Dear John:

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

All my love, Agnes

* * *

December 17, 1972

Dear John:

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.

Affectionately, Agnes

* * *

December 18, 1972

Dearest John:

What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love, Agnes

* * *

December 19, 1972

Dear John:

When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

Cordially, Agnes

* * *

December 20, 1972

John:

What's with you and those freaking birds? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.

Sincerely, Agnes

* * *

December 21, 1972

O.K. Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.

Agnes

* * *

December 22, 1972

Hey Shithead:

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours! Agnes

* * *

December 23, 1972

You rotten prick:

Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.

I'm calling the police on you! Agnes

* * *

December 24, 1972

Listen Fuckhead:

What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

Your sworn enemy, Agnes

* * *

December 25, 1972

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially, Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole

5. Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell off the wall

6. A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50  
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50  
Hand Job: $10.00

He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.

"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.

"Yes," she purrs. "I am."

"Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"

7. Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?

A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging.

8. Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?

A: She can't find the eleven.

9. There was this little boy who had no name. One day he went outside and heard someone say Jonny. He then tells his mother his first name would be Jonny. The second day he goes outside and hears the name Humper. So, he tells his mother his middle name was going to be Humper. The third day, Jonny goes out and hears the name Harder. Then, he tells his mother his full name shall be Jonny Humper Harder. Jonny goes out one day with handful of cookies. He sees this girl around his age and asks her if she would be willing to take off her shirt for a cookie. The little girls says that she would take off all her close for all of Jonny's cookIes. Jonny gives her the cookies and the girl takes off all her clothes. Hours later, the towns people all run up to them in the middle of the street and they cry,'' JONNY HUMPER HARDER''! Little Jonny yells,'' I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!'''

10. Husband: Honey, do you smell that?

Wife: No

Husband: yeah me neither start cooking

11. Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when no one is interested

Student: A teacher!

12. Boy and girl: Can kids of our age have kids?

Teacher: No! Not ever!

Boy: I told you it would be alright

13. Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him. When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher anticipates he'll say, "ass" so she calls on Mary Lou, who says "apple."

This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet. Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny.

He exclaims, "R is for rats - big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!"

14.

Q: What's 72?

A: 69 with three people watching.

15.

Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it?

A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

16. A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.

"No!" yells the blonde.

Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

"For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"

The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"

17.

Wilfred had just learned his ABCs and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class. He stood in front of the class trembling and began.

"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."

His teacher said, "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?

He replied, "It's running down my leg."

18. A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"

"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

19.

Children in the backseat can cause accidents.

Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

20.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

A: He heard the ref was blowing fowls.

21. A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

22.

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.

A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful," it was "cute." She asked, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

Okay, thats all for now folks!" Said Sword

* * *

**Okay I'll admit terrible last lines but I had to have Sword in it to deem it a "chapter" by my standards (Actually it's just a way to take credit for these jokes)**


End file.
